No Soliciting for Dummies

After the umpteenth time I have had someone that was not a local student try to sell me magazines I finally broke down and printed up a simple "No Soliciting" sign.  The students sell magazines as a school and booster club fundraiser, I don't really know where the hell my money is going with these other guys.

What really gets me is that they start off saying they aren't trying to sell me something then they...

...wait for it....

try to sell me something.

Not five minutes after I affixed the sign by my door, right by the doorbell so it can't be missed, I have a person I don't know ring my doorbell.  It is an older gentleman in a white shirt and tie.

Him:  "I noticed you have a 'No Soliciting' sign"
Me:  "MmmHmmm" (while telling myself I shouldn't have opened the damn door - what is wrong with me?)
Him:  "I'm not selling anything but I wanted to share something with you".  He proceeds to start handing me a Watchtower magazine.
Me:  thinking that he is most certainly trying to sell me something, and I'm not buying. "We're atheists"
Him:  "Oh, ok, have a nice day!"

In the past I would have never said this because I was so worried about the reaction I would get.  This time I was irritated that my sign was ignored and I'm getting my time wasted, so I spoke the truth instead of politely refusing like usual.

My husband wasn't happy with me but I assured him that it is probably the best way to get rid of them.  I wasn't rude, I didn't slam the door in his face, I just told the truth.  It's just one of many, many baby steps I have taken towards coming out.  Most of my family suspects I am a non-believer (not just non-religious), but it is the elephant in the room, and my family does a great job of ignoring and stepping around the elephant.  It's such a small thing but it felt good telling the truth instead of stammering some sort of weak excuse that kept them coming back.  As I get older, I no longer want to hide who I am in an attempt to protect myself (or the people I love).  I keep quiet because my husband isn't as strong as I am.  Or he thinks I am totally naive and fears major backlash should the bald truth be told.  So I've gotten more subtle about letting people know who I am.  When I am getting to know someone, I ask a lot of questions, try to get to know where they stand on certain issues.

As the saying goes, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is believing that everyone thinks exactly the same way you do.

Once I find that our beliefs and stances match up in enough ways I start relaxing.  And you know what?  I have found several people like me.  My eldest child has found people like them, and I hope my youngest does as well.

Surround yourself with people that know you and love you anyway.

My coming out is a slow and tedious process, but I believe I will get there someday.

I’ll Be Post-Feminist In The Post-Patriarchy

Feminism and Omegle

A friend of mine decided to do a little social experiment.  She has asked questions that are relevant to feminism to see what kind of answers she gets.  I have no idea of the user demographics of Omegle, so it could be that it skews the responses.  But if you ever wanted to know what people think about these things when they are protected by anonymity, check out her blog:  Feminism and Omegle.


Check out this winner after just a few minutes of gathering responses:

So, according to this douchebag, rape isn't that bad.  

Stranger 1 just admitted that he would rape, no matter what they wore.  

When someone references rape culture, this right here is it.  Not only a culture that puts the responsibility of the rape on the victim, but also seems to give people the idea that rape is no big deal.

Tell me, how is it ok to think and/or behave this way?  Quick answer?  It's not.  Ever.

Interestingly, Omegle wasn't filled with trolls only.  There actually were some thoughtful, civil, and mature conversations that people had that did not make me weep for the human race.  Other questions included:  "Would you watch a superhero movie with a female lead?", "Do you consider yourself a feminist?", "Do you think the way female characters are portrayed in film/tv/video games...are treated with the same respect as male characters?", and so on.  She is on tumblr and has "Ask Me a Question" enabled, so if you would like to see her ask a certain question on Omegle, you could ask and she may post the results.

I could post more, but it is her blog, so if you are interested, pop over to Feminism and Omegle.

Joe Walsh tells Sandra Fluke to "Get a Job"

She is a law student, she will soon have a job.  And she just wants her DOCTOR PRESCRIBED drugs to be covered by insurance.  How does this translate to her being unemployed or wanting them for free?  It doesn't.  For a long time birth control pills hadn't been covered by a lot of insurance prescription plans.  But Viagra and other boner pills were.

Explain to me how this isn't patriarchal and discriminatory?



"No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother" - Margaret Sanger

Standing up and being heard

I read with dismay that a lot of feminist atheist bloggers have been getting increasingly numerous comments that are nasty and malicious and not adding anything to the conversation at hand.  They have devolved into rape and death threats and reveal a surprising amount of misogyny.

Because of these threats and the fear that they have caused, I decided to create this blog so I can speak my mind on feminist and atheist issues that I am not always free to express in real life.

Yes, I am still anonymous, but I show up in support of my fellow women nonetheless.  Over time, I hope I develop the bravery and strength to reveal myself and stand unwavering in my convictions.

Missing the Point Entirely

I've seen this little gem posted on Facebook a few times.  I know, I know.  For my own sanity I should just walk away.  Poking the crazy is such a strong temptation but I figured torching a friendship (or fracturing family relations) is not worth feeling superior over.  So instead I'm going to do it here.

Back to this not-funny cartoon:

Interestingly this comic touches on two things that  ZOMG!OppressedChristians! (TM) like to twist to make it seem like the evil atheists are trying to abolish or take away their enjoyment of their faith.

Most obvious is the War on Christmas (TM)!  There is no war on Christmas.  I don't give a flying fuck if you wish me a Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice, or Chrismahanukwanzikah.  When you say any of these to me, I assume that it reflects your beliefs and I usually will smile and respond "You too!".  I alternate between Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays depending on the person, and if I were working a customer service job I would default to Happy Holidays.  The reason isn't not offending, the reason is that I wish to be as inclusive as possible.   Religion isn't obvious, like blue eyes or red hair.  People choose religion, and sometimes even change religions.  I don't know if the person in front of me is Jewish, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Pagan, or whatever.  I wish everyone happiness at this time.

So go have yourself a Merry Christmas.  Hell, say it as much as you want.  Just don't demand that I say it too, because it doesn't show how christian you are, it shows how much of an asshole you are and how insecure you are that you need sheep bellowing the same thing all around you.

The less obvious part of this is separation of church and state.  Once again, this totally misses the point.  Kids will not get in trouble if they express their faith in public school.   It's one thing to say "I'm Christian and I celebrate Christmas".  It's another to expect everyone else to do the same.  And if I recall correctly, teachers and administrators can get in trouble if they discuss religion in any way that promotes one above any others or with any intention of proselytizing.  However, if this little boy said to another child "You are dumb because you don't celebrate Christmas", then maybe a trip to the principal's office is in order.

Us Evil Atheists are not looking to take away Christmas.  I celebrate it as a secular holiday and as a time to share love with my family and friends.  Giving gifts makes me happy.  Other's celebrate it as Yule, or the solstice.  It is also a federal holiday.  Don't be a herd animal and post this drivel.  Spend that energy elsewhere, be a role model and use that energy to help others, not just in December but all year long.  Charities that have a glut of volunteers in December have a difficult time finding them in the summer.  Use those mouse clicks to spend $20 to help feed or immunize people in impoverished countries (or hey, your own country, we have plenty of hungry and homeless people here).  If you are privileged enough that all you have to worry about is this War on Christmas bullshit, rejoice and Happy Holidays!

Dear Facebook Friends

When you post a long-winded "prayer", an incomprehensible rant against our president that repeats talking points,  or want to "fly a flag" protesting the Muslim rec center and then spam everybody asking people to repost, it does not win you my friendship.  It makes me mentally put a tick mark in the column labeled "asshole".