Wednesday, September 12, 2012

No Soliciting for Dummies

After the umpteenth time I have had someone that was not a local student try to sell me magazines I finally broke down and printed up a simple "No Soliciting" sign.  The students sell magazines as a school and booster club fundraiser, I don't really know where the hell my money is going with these other guys.

What really gets me is that they start off saying they aren't trying to sell me something then they...

...wait for it....

try to sell me something.

Not five minutes after I affixed the sign by my door, right by the doorbell so it can't be missed, I have a person I don't know ring my doorbell.  It is an older gentleman in a white shirt and tie.

Him:  "I noticed you have a 'No Soliciting' sign"
Me:  "MmmHmmm" (while telling myself I shouldn't have opened the damn door - what is wrong with me?)
Him:  "I'm not selling anything but I wanted to share something with you".  He proceeds to start handing me a Watchtower magazine.
Me:  thinking that he is most certainly trying to sell me something, and I'm not buying. "We're atheists"
Him:  "Oh, ok, have a nice day!"

In the past I would have never said this because I was so worried about the reaction I would get.  This time I was irritated that my sign was ignored and I'm getting my time wasted, so I spoke the truth instead of politely refusing like usual.

My husband wasn't happy with me but I assured him that it is probably the best way to get rid of them.  I wasn't rude, I didn't slam the door in his face, I just told the truth.  It's just one of many, many baby steps I have taken towards coming out.  Most of my family suspects I am a non-believer (not just non-religious), but it is the elephant in the room, and my family does a great job of ignoring and stepping around the elephant.  It's such a small thing but it felt good telling the truth instead of stammering some sort of weak excuse that kept them coming back.  As I get older, I no longer want to hide who I am in an attempt to protect myself (or the people I love).  I keep quiet because my husband isn't as strong as I am.  Or he thinks I am totally naive and fears major backlash should the bald truth be told.  So I've gotten more subtle about letting people know who I am.  When I am getting to know someone, I ask a lot of questions, try to get to know where they stand on certain issues.

As the saying goes, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is believing that everyone thinks exactly the same way you do.

Once I find that our beliefs and stances match up in enough ways I start relaxing.  And you know what?  I have found several people like me.  My eldest child has found people like them, and I hope my youngest does as well.

Surround yourself with people that know you and love you anyway.

My coming out is a slow and tedious process, but I believe I will get there someday.


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